i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
