Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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