The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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