what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
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As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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