Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
