who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
