Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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