based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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