it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
