I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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