You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
