Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
