Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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