no, he came in my armpit
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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