i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
