is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
