You're completely useless in the revolution.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
