He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
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I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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