Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
