sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
