just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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