Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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