so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
