so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the day after is always just damage control
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
