It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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