You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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