I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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