You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
