i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize