I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
someone owes me an orgasm
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
