at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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