If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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