this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
