i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
