I CAN MOONWALK!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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