..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
