just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
