Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
