this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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