I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
