There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
