wrigley field is MILF paradise
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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