# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
