And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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