so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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