I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
