idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
