You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
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Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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