he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
This house was built for laser tag.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
