Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
