I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
