my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize