Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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