wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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