You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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