Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
