I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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