She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I want a musical about memes.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
