i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
