Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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