I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
