wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
